I miscarried four months later. But we soon adopted a gorgeous one-day-old baby girl. She was beautiful! Still, as the agency representative said, "She's yours." I looked at her and said, "I don't know how to pick up a baby."
You'd think that with that bumbling, uncomfortable beginning I might have flipped out the first day I was alone with her. But an hour after coming home, I discovered that our tiny human was the most fascinating creature I'd ever experienced. Long buried in the creases of my brain, hungry, tired, cold, wet, sick drifted out when I needed it. When she screamed, I ran down the checklist. And it always worked. I was ready when she shot herself off the the changing table by kicking her feet against the wall. I was ready when she threw-up on my student's father's best suit. I can't imagine anything more wonderful than watching her or any child develop. I couldn't wait to share my family's joy of learning with her.
It never occurred to me how much things had changed and how hard that would be.